Did You Know?

That a long kiss on the lips equals being gay and having sex?

Yeah, I didn't know that either, but according to my 9 year old son, that is what it means.

See, you do learn something new everyday.

"I was thinking" said by a 5 year old...

Owen asked what we were doing today and I told him we were going "off island" and he said "oh, I was just thinking that I would like to go to McDonalds today"

Where does he get this stuff?

We didn't go to McDonalds, but luckily he didn't realize that.

Supernanny....Is that realistic?

I have watched the past 2 weeks of Supernanny and though I think it is a great idea, I wonder how realistic it is.

When the supernanny comes into the home she observes the family. Then she puts up a poster size "family routine" When I look at this routine I see nothing but playing with your kids and eating and napping. When does the mom have time to clean the house or do the things that need to be done cause your a mom?

I will admit there are problems in our household and I am not the perfect parent, but sheesh if I had to play with my kids all day and make them happy, I would be miserable. Oh wait, I don't do that and I am still miserable. Hmmmmmm.....maybe there isn't a happy medium.

Anyway, I just thought it was interesting and wonder what really would make the "perfect" household, if such a thing can actually exist.

So tell me....

Why can't anyone make clothes to fit a body?

I swear the one thing in life that I hate is clothes shopping.

I am already fat, do they think I want to look fatter?

I swear I tried on a pair of capris yesterday that fit great, but the legs were so wide that I looked like I had 2 extra legs. Why do I need wide leg pants, my legs are already wide enough.

So then I try on these other lightweight nice pants. They have 3 colors, I try on one color and it fits great. I try on the other color in the same size and I can't get it over my hips - WTF? I try on the 3rd color in the same size and it was a size between the first 2. How can that be? I don't get it.

Frustrating as hell!!!

Oh and I tried on one of those halter tops with the bra inside already....um yeah, no, my boobs looked 10 times bigger then they are already.

Why can't I find attractive, stylish clothes to fit this body?

You know, the same is true when I was skinny. I could never find anything to fit me that looked "good"

Should I just wrap a sheet around myself and call it a day?

I am a mommy again!!!!

Isn't it cute? It is a baby Robin and I almost ran it over at the end of my driveway at 10:38 yesterday morning. He is almost ready to fly, but he can't fly yet, but he tries so hard. It is like watching my children learn to walk all over again.

I have a bird cage that he is living in at the moment until I feel that it is safe to release him. I have been feeding him cat food (I know, very weird), but apparently it is the most nutritous for them. My middle child said "but don't cats eat birds?" Like maybe if he eats catfood cats will love him more?

I love feeding him, I have to put tiny pieces on my finger and shove it down its throat like his mama does. He flaps his wings and grabs every morsel with his mouth. Then he has a drink of water and poops and he goes fast asleep until he is hungry again about an hour later.

I tried putting him next to my cockatiel, but the cockatiel was trying to figure out how to open his cage to get to the Robin....it was rather comical. I moved the Robin, didn't want to make the cockatiel nutso.

Now notice at the beginning I said I almost ran him over at 10:38 in the morning? Well today I came back to my house to feed the Robin at 10:38 and there was a boxer turtle in the middle of the road at the end of my driveway, so I had to go pick him up and move him to the woods.

So what do you think I will find at 10:38 tomorrow morning? Not sure, hopefully nothing...lol.

Hot Sauce is the trick....

Soap in the mouth doesn't seem to do the trick, but a little hot sauce and he "swears" he won't do it again.

The kids were playing outside and Spencer hit Owen with a ball and I hear "FUCKER" come out of Owen's mouth. I went right outside and told him to get in the house and he said "NO".

He finally came in and I told him to go to his room and he said "NO" and started to go outside. I told him that if he went outside he is not getting dinner and he is going right to bed. Apparently he didn't believe me and went outside. Now I am chasing him and he is running away from me. Why do they do that?

The other 2 came in and he wouldn't come in cause he knew he was in big trouble.

Dinner was set on the table and he came in and immediately noticed that there wasn't a plate for him. He demanded his dinner and demanded that his father get him a plate. I then proceeded to tell my husband what his son did. With that he had gone to the fridge without any of us knowing and got the hot sauce. He tried talking to Owen, but Owen wouldn't listen and than WHAMMO, in went the hot sauce and Owen freaked.

He didn't like it one bit. He kept threatening that he was going to throw this and that and we ignored him while we ate dinner. After about 5 minutes the hot sauce hit his lips and he started freaking out and crying that it was hot. The one that got us though and made us all burst out laughing was when he said "I am going to explode!!!!" Where does he get this stuff from?

He finally got a wet paper towel for his lips and I fed him dinner though I said I wouldn't, but I bet I won't get any arguing about bedtime cause I think after his cry fest his head will hit the pillow and he will be out like a light.

I am going to break him before he breaks me.....not sure when, but it better be soon.

"Do You Want Me To Die?!?!?!"

This happened at bedtime.

Owen: "I need some water"
Me: "No, you aren't taking water to bed"
Owen: "But I am thirsty"
Me: "so take a sip of this water"
Owen: "no, I want a cup"
Me: "no"
Owen: "but I am thirsty"
Me: "I told you to take a sip of this water"
Owen: "no, I want MY cup"
Me: "no"
Owen: "I am thirsty"
Me: "Sorry, take it or leave it"
Owen: "DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?!?!?!"
Me: "Yes!"

Mind you I didn't mean it, but goodness, I have had it with him.

The hardest job I have ever had is....

being a mom.

I swear I think my kids are trying to make me insane. The ages of 11, 9.5 and 5 are killing me.

My 5 year old is not a good listener and doesn't care if he gets soap in his mouth or toys taken away. He will tell me flat out that it doesn't bother him. Can you say stubborn? OH MY GOD, I now know how people can abuse their kids....something in them must just snap, I know, I have almost been there. Luckily I have a great group of friends who support me and so I will call them and say "is this the child abuse hotline?" It always helps to talk it out.

My 9.5 year old now tells me that I am not the boss of him. Huh!?!?!?! You are 9.5, not 18 and as far as you are concerned I AM the boss of you. I made him walk home in the rain yesterday cause he said this to me. He said it to me cause I just got done talking to his teacher about how he disrespected her the day before and so I told him he will go home and sit in his room for the remainder of the day in which he replied "no I won't, you can't tell me what to do"

This is not the first time he has said this to me either and I was talking to my father about it one day and he sort of laughed and after the conversation he asked me to do something and I told him "no, you are not the boss of me" He laughed so hard.

My 11 year old is better then the other 2, but there are days where I could rip her hair out. Yes, she is a girl and being a girl I know all about attitude. She can give attitude like no other. Thankfully it doesn't happen too often and she is the one that gets me and will do what I ask without telling me no or "you aren't the boss of me". Maybe this is just the calm before the storm.

I always think I am alone in how my kids are, but thankfully most families have the same issues and the same fights.

Who knew that being a mom would be so hard. I think I am a good mom, so why do they torture me so? It hurts my heart when they disrespect me or don't listen to me, it really makes me not want to be a mom anymore. I hate feeling like that, that makes me not a good mom. I don't want to wish their lives away, but I have been because I want us all to be happy again.

When are these stages going to end, when they are 21? I don't know if I can survive it.